My First Week of College

I MADE IT THROUGH MY FIRST WEEK OF COLLEGE (alive, that is) 

At the beginning of the week, I was hesitant. At the beginning of the week, I was terrified. Terrified of getting lost, terrified of not making friends, terrified of new things. 

For me, doing new things that I've never done before makes me nervous and incredibly anxious and scared. But I totally killed this week. And I'm proud of that. 

At first, when I decided to go to TCC, I was like "this is gonna be just like Lincoln, I'm gonna hate this." Nope. Not at all. So far, I love TCC. I have sincerely enjoyed all of my classes, meeting new people and waking up at 8am every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (and even later for my 1:05 class on Tuesday and Thursday's) rather than that early everyday! Note to all high school seniors: College is great 😉 

The first day was probably the most nerve wrecking part mainly because this was the first time I'd be going to a new school by myself and knowing literally no one. When I say that, this is what I mean: sure, I see people I know around but for my whole life anytime I changed a school, I was going to be with a bunch of people I already knew. 

Honestly, I'm so happy that I don't know hardly anyone and that this is a new start for me. "Starting off fresh," right? No worries about being my old high school self. No worries about being shy. New school, new life, new me. This is what I've needed and I could not be more thankful. My heart has been waiting for a change and this is gonna be an incredible ride. 

I've learned things about myself and life all within this first week and I truly cannot wait to see where life takes me. 

Oh and a huge thank you goes to Courtney Allen for encouraging me as well as drawing me a map that is currently still my background so I don't get lost. #FreshyProbs 

Enjoy this picture of my super cute background (and yes, it may look simple to anyone else, but in person, I can't follow maps and this was necessary) thanks again Courtney! ❤️: 

Ps GO EAGLES 

A heavy heart

Normally I wouldn't share my feelings this vulnerably but tonight my heart is incredibly heavy. I need a lot of prayer for a successful, happy, and relaxing last week of summer. It's been a rough week and I want this week to go as smoothly as possible. 

This week I have been dealing with a lot of financial stress, long hours, general stress for college, pain, and heartbreak. 

After my first session and therapy I was in so much pain. I didn't want anyone to touch my arm. My arm honestly feels like it's getting worse and at this point it's really dragging me down. It's killing whatever energy I have left slowly. 

I'm scared that there is something more than tendinitis going on in my arm and no one can figure it out. 

I feel like I have nothing left in me and I'm just trying to make it. I feel like everyday there is never enough time to get anything done. I feel like my head is currently in explosion mode. 

At the age of 18, I don't feel like I should be feeling like that. This isn't healthy anymore but I don't know how to stop. 

I know I need a break but my endurance isn't letting me do it. 

I'm driving myself insane at this point and I know it's not good. I put so much effort in trying to make sure that someone else was happy and supported and now I'm alone and I'm exhausted and without him. 

I need a lot of prayer tonight. Pray that someone can find out what's wrong with my arm, pray that I can sleep, pray that things can go better for me from here on out. 

Get to Know Your Blogger!

30 FACTS ABOUT YOUR BLOGGER 

1. I hate goodbyes. 

2. Exploring is what I dream to do

3. My name is Kaley and I have dimples on both cheeks, if you couldn't tell. 

4. I don't like when people complain, especially when they know they're blessed with a lot. 

5. I wanna help people. That's my goal in life. 

6. I don't know what I wanna do with my life. 

7. I have tough skin until you know how to get underneath it. Then that's where I'm emotional. 

8. I'm stubborn and I honestly can't help it. I just am. 

9. I roll my eyes at least 100 times a day (sorry Momma) 

10. Retail therapy is my favorite kinda of therapy. (Again, sorry momma)

11. I love the cold and the heat. But at the wrong times of the year. 

12. I have PTSD and it affects me still occasionally 

13. Marley is my baby. 

14. One of my favorite quotes is "stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it." It's such a good reminder

15. I go to TCC

16. I've changed my major too many times and I'm still not sure what I want to do. 

17. I work at LifeWay and with ItWorks! 

18. Belle is my favorite princess. 

19. I'd rather blog than do anything else. It's my favorite activity. 

20. I love hugs and cuddles. 

21. Hailee Steinfeld, Bae Miller and Shawn Mendes are my favorite singers right now. 

22. Stitches by Shawn Mendes describes my life right now. 

23. I love my family and my best friends and how much they love me and support me. I wouldn't be here without them. 

24. I can be a hopeless romantic. Sorry about it. 

25. I was born on Thanksgiving. 

26. Baths and candles are my favorite. 

27. I love the shows The Middle and Reba. 

28. I'd rather be exploring than sleeping and that's saying a lot. 

29. I love making things. 

30. I am happiest when I'm eating cake batter frozen yogurt or a cake batter snowcone and looking at sunsets. 

Things I wish I had known in High School

I have been graduated from high school for a little over two months. 

I honestly can't tell you how I'm feeling. 

Mixed emotions I guess. 

I have made a list of 15 things I wish I had known in high school or at least thought about more and actually listened to. 

1. Your grades really do matter so keep track of them. 

Do not wait til senior year to play catch up. 

2. Your GPA is really important so keep track of that. 

Again, do not wait til senior year to play catch up. 

3. If you have a worthy best friend who is willing to put up with your crap, keep them and do NOT let them go. They're important, even if you don't realize it. 

4. People change.

Let it happen. It's inevitable. Your best friend freshman year may not be your best friend by senior year. 

5. Heartbreak will happen. 

It sucks but it ends eventually and you will move on. There will come a day when they don't even cross your mind or you are able to walk past them in the hallway and feel nothing. Love isn't a fairytale. 

6. You're gonna change. A lot.

Make sure it's for the better and that you are making good choices for your future. 

7. Your college choice may change about sixty-five hundred times. 

Don't sweat it. It's August 7th and I just changed my college about two weeks ago. Again. 

8. Unless you get very lucky and run into someone who's been raised right, no high schoolers tend to be mature. 

That is also inevitable. 

9. Playing sports or doing extra-curricular activities such as clubs is actually really important. 

You make awesome friends and they look incredible on your transcript. 

10. Making new friends is always good. 

You never know what may come from it. 

11. Your favorite teacher freshman year may not be your favorite teacher by senior year. 

Luckily, mine remained the same and that teacher has been the most incredible person in my life and such a great paternal leader in my life. 

12. Your mom or dad (or both) or a sibling will probably end up being your best friend. 

I don't know where I would be without my mom and sister today supporting me and pushing me onward no matter what. 

13. Go to football games and pep rallies and other sporting events as much as you can. 

You'll regret it if you don't. 

14. Things will work out for the best. 

Even if it sucks right now. I promise. Things do get better. 

15. Graduation comes faster than you expect. Senior year flies by. 

Do not waste the good times, and do not dwell on the moments that aren't so great. They pass. There is a new day around the corner. 

You will miss high school and the friends you made. You'll miss the school spirit and even your worst enemies. 

Enjoy it will you can. 

P.S. I love you LHS2015 

A letter to my best friends since 11th grade

Throughout your life, you will meet so many people that are decent, work keeping in your life but they will never compare to the bond you have with your best friends.

Almost a month ago (ish), one of my best friends turned 19 and pretty soon (today), my other best friend is moving to Jacksonville to start her official college career there. 

Life is changing for us. But, we have to focus on our incredible memories. Although we got incredibly close this year, it seems like we've been best friends for WAY longer than that. But they have been the most amazing people that have crossed my path in my last few years of public K-12 schooling. 

All three of us have been through absolute hell together and we have made it out so strong. They are the people that I would go to for everything. And I will love them for well... Forever. 

In fact, we went to Disney World in celebration of our graduation in May! 

I would take bullets for these two. 

So without any further delay, here we go. 

Thank you for getting me out of some of the darkest spots in my life. 

Thank you for standing by me no matter what. 

Thank you for loving me and keeping me sane and not letting me slash any of my ex boyfriend's tires. 

Thank you 

I'm sorry for all the mean things I have called you when I got upset. 

I'm sorry for all the heartache you have ever had to go through. I'm proud of how far y'all have both come. 

I know that one day, you will both get married and have lives of your own but y'all are going to be incredible in life. Y'all are gonna be so supportive and loving and amazing like you have been for me. But please also remember that I will always be your best friend. 

Thank you for being the most kind-hearted people even when I was hurting and no one knew what was going on with me, including myself. 

Thank you both for keeping me grounded when I needed that cause I know that was hard in the past. 

Thank you for encouraging me when I was down because I am such a better person today than I was in the past. 

The other day I was reading an article called An Open Letter To The Man Who Will One Day Marry My Best Friend

It said this and I couldn't agree more: "There will be things that she will go through that you will not be able to understand, and there will be times when she will choose to call me and not you. When those times come, do not be upset with her for choosing to come to me instead of you. It does not mean that she loves you any less; there are just some things only a best friend can fix."

My best friends are the friends that I will hold onto tighter than any memory that I made in high school. 

I love you both to the moon and back. 

You guys are my other halves and I would be nothing without y'all. 

"if you see all of the wonderful things that I see in her and love her more because of those things, then she will love you more than you ever imagined was possible. She is a rare and beautiful person"

I love you guys no matter how far apart we physically are, we will end up together at heart. Forever and always. 

(Names not used for privacy of my best friends) 

A calling to adventure and good reminders

 

Lately, I've gotten a really strong feeling of wanting to explore. I don't know what I want to do with my life yet but I hope that it can give me opportunities to see the world whatever it may be. 

Pictured above is my Lokai bracelet. It's my most prized position right now. If you've never heard of Lokai, they make bracelets with the most powerful meanings in my opinion. "Each lokai is infused with elements from the highest and lowest points on Earth."

There are two beads, one's white and one is black. The white bead carries water from Mt. Everest, and its black bead contains mud from the Dead Sea. "These extreme elements are a reminder to the wearer to live a balanced life – staying humble during life’s peaks and hopeful during its lows." 

Order them online at: http://mylokai.com/shop/lokai-bracelet-clear.html

10% of their net profits go to incredible charities! 

Every time I look down at this bracelet, I always remember to keep going, keep pushing myself. 

Things. Get. Better. 

an update on life...

In the past few months I have been dealing with life.

First of all I got a new phone and for the life of me, I couldn't remember the log in information for this blog (go me!)

Now that it is August and I'm finally getting back on, oh well. Even the best of us can't remember what email of the 158 that we have unlocks our whole blog. 

Anyways, backing it up!

After I got out of the hospital, life got better for a while. For the most part. 

I dealt with some teacher drama at school that mentally ripped me apart but also shaped me in so many ways. 

I got a job at Lifeway Christian Bookstore and it was really taught me a lot about retail, God and I have met (and even re-met) so many awesome people!

I got to spend about a week with my two best friends at DISNEY WORLD which was incredible and we got super close. I love them with all my heart ❤️

I wouldn't mind dealing with them til the day I die 😂❤️

I graduated high school May 26th with honors and A/B honor roll after fighting for so long to do well and get high school done.

I've really been taking this summer to learn more about myself and the things around me. My love for adventure has increased a lot. My endurance has increased a lot. I'm so proud of myself. It's weird growing up but it has to happen. 

This summer has taught me so many amazing things like handling money, having patience (it was mainly me waiting for letters from Erik and dealing with kids at camp), loving people more and going with my gut is a good idea a lot of the time because it seems like that led me to incredibly great things this summer. 

I have met so many awesome people so far this year and even this summer. 

This past Saturday I found out that I have tendinitis in my elbow which has been incredibly painful but I have been sucking it up until I can get my shot. Like I said, my endurance is growing very quickly. 

Life gets better even when it's at its worse. Believe that!