The Wonderful, Graceful Heart

I'm really big on family. I don't get to see them a lot because they live all over the place. But I love them more than anything. In particular, my grandmother.

Now don't get me wrong, my grandpa will forever be my best friend and my mom is my rock. But my grandmother, she's something incredible. 

Story time: A few weeks ago, I was having an incredibly rough day. I had to get an MRI done and go to therapy on top of that (two of the most stressful events for me) as well as a road trip to Jacksonville on top of that. Basically, I was a claustrophobic emotional stressed mess all day. She took her time to call me and give me her advice on getting MRI's done. She also told me that if she needed to cancel her plans to go with me, she would. I want to learn to be selfless and giving like her. 

I grew up going over to my Grandmother and Grandaddy's house all the time. When I was sick, too young for school, after school, anytime I could. I learned a lot from them both, lessons I will never forget. They were and still are the people that I will always look to, even when I'm 90. 

My reason for writing this blog is because I write about my day or how life is going or things that are important to me. 

My Grandmother is one of the most important people in my life. 

As much as we may frustrate each other, she has had a huge impact on my like no other. She has a heart of gold. She gives to people and pushes herself to be the best and always puts her best foot forward and never tries to hurt anyone. She's genuine and most of all, always has my back in every situation. She always looks to God for in any decision she makes. My favorite thing about my grandma is that she always speaks her mind and I think that's where I get it from.

Something that I've learned in life is that you truly do have to sit with people you love and just talk. It doesn't matter about what and it doesn't matter where. Just talk. Just listen. Learn lessons. Let it soak into your blood and bones. In all honesty, you don't get these moments back. Enjoy what you can, when you can.

Something else that I love about my grandma is that she is always giving. When we aren't going crazy in our daily lives, my mom and I are consistently invited to eat with my grandma at least once a week. She gives me coupons and lots of food. My grandma is still going and I love that. I know I have said it before, but I truly do hope to be just like her. 

Honestly she's so giving and wonderful and I love her to the moon and back. 

I believe that as a woman, our purpose in life is to be giving, caring, nurturing, and gracious among many other things. My Grandmother has taught me nothing but that. 

So pay attention to those you have known for your whole life, listen to their lessons, appreciate their lessons and remember them.

-K

My Endometriosis Story, Part One: The Beginning and Surgery

Hey guys! 

I know it has been a really long time since I wrote last but a lot has been going on. I will have an update blog on all of that soon.... BUT for now, let's get right into the point of this one!

This blog is gonna be more personal but I wanted to write it because a lot of people deal with it and I felt that maybe someone somewhere could benefit from this.

Before I get started, I want to go ahead and define a few things. Just remember that this definition is not made to make you feel dumb... I honestly just had no idea what endometriosis was until all of this happened.

• Endometriosis: the presence of uterine lining in other pelvic organs, especially the ovaries, characterized by cyst information, adhesions, and menstrual pains (definition by dictionary.com)

I would like to take a moment to remind everyone that this blog is from my point of view and what I have learned and how I have dealt with and reacted to my issues. I am in NO way a professional or a doctor. This blog has some very serious life issues and personal experiences as well as some more light-hearted blogs so this one for the serious list.

Endometriosis (endo, as most people refer to it) has been one of the most painful, annoying and most stressful situations I have ever been in so please no negative comments.

--------------------------------------------------------

So this is my story...

Ever since I was 16, I have had very painful monthly visitors... ya know. Periods. I missed school, church, important appointments, etc. I avoided everything I possibly could because everything I did just plain and simply hurt. I pushed myself through everything I HAD to do (mainly work). I tried everything from hot showers and relaxing baths to heating pads to painkillers and NOTHING worked. And as time went along, it got worse and worse every month.

One day, my mom came home from church and told me I should talk to our family friend Jessica (SHOUT OUT TO JESSICA). Now Jessica has had a lot of issues of her own and knows a lot about a lot of issues that women deal with.

In all honesty, I was reluctant. I don't like knowing things are wrong with me. I don't like being told something is wrong with me. No matter what it is. Simple or serious, I hated it.
The nice thing about talking to Jessica is that she just LISTENS. No judgement, no spoken diagnosing (even though now I know what she was thinking). Just her listening. (Thanks Jessica)
Once I told her what was going on, she knew what was going on and she told me I definitely needed to see my doctor.

I made an appointment with my doctor immediately and awaited that dreadful appointment.
I spoke with my doctor and he told me he wanted me to get ultrasounds so that's what I did. I made an appointment to get an ultrasound.

I had two ultrasounds done (abdomen and pelvic) and once those were done, next thing I knew I was scheduling my surgery.

• Laparoscopy or Laparoscopic surgery: Also called minimally invasive surgery (MIS), is a modern surgical technique in which operations are performed through small incisions (usually 0.5 - 1.5 cm)

PRE-SURGERY

Before surgery, I was instructed to wash in Hibiclens (a topical antiseptic) (Fun, right?)

Honestly, probably one of the grossest smelling things I've ever had to shower in. 

I was told to stop drinking and eating around midnight right before surgery.

I was also instructed to removed all piercings and all makeup (I cried a bit). 

PRE-OP

I arrived at the Tallahassee Memorial Hospital's Outpatient Center at 7:30AM with my Vera Bradley small duffel travel bag filled with anything I could possibly fit in it and though I might need. I was shaking and I was absolutely terrified of what was to come - but I was ready - ready to feel less pain and be comfortable.

Pre-op felt endless and I was just trying to get through it. IV's, unplanned pee tests (on a pretty much empty bladder), blood drawings, and ugly hospital gowns with hair nets and a bare face. 

By 8:30 or 9, I was completely drugged up, seeing 6 eyes instead of 2 (sorry Jess), flying birds, and hearing weird things and not understanding anything. Basically, I was a terrifying mess who was yelling at male nurses that they were really cute. (That's one of the only things I clearly renumber). 

I don't do well with IVs being in my arm, so that part was not very fun at all for me and they had to continuously give me medicine to relieve the pain. 

SURGERY

I honestly kinda laughed as I write the word "surgery." The only thing I remember from surgery is having to move myself onto the operation table (and yes, the cute male nurse helped me). 

If I told you that I remember anything from surgery, that would be a huge lie. I don't remember anything. I was out the whole time. 

When I got out of surgery, I do remember freaking out because I was super drugged up and I had no idea where I was and my throat was killing me (because of the tube that was down it.) 

POST-OP

Post surgery I do know that everything ended up being just fine. 

My endometriosis spots were removed for the time being as well as the cysts that were found (one or two had burst) and one was growing. (How fun right?)

Endometriosis has been a crazy, scary journey that has brought me new (and true) friends, new experiences, and new feelings. Since this was my first surgery, it was a whole bunch of new emotions. 

Today, I feel little-to-no pain on a day-to-day basis, which is a huge relief to me. This school semester is going incredibly smooth (knock on wood!) and I'm loving it so far. 

------------------------------------------------------------

Enjoy these great pictures from surgery! Thank you so much for reading and look forward to more blog posts soon! 

This is the look of pain and discomfort and trying to laugh because of it.

-K