Sunday, August 16, 2015

A heavy heart

Normally I wouldn't share my feelings this vulnerably but tonight my heart is incredibly heavy. I need a lot of prayer for a successful, happy, and relaxing last week of summer. It's been a rough week and I want this week to go as smoothly as possible. 

This week I have been dealing with a lot of financial stress, long hours, general stress for college, pain, and heartbreak. 

After my first session and therapy I was in so much pain. I didn't want anyone to touch my arm. My arm honestly feels like it's getting worse and at this point it's really dragging me down. It's killing whatever energy I have left slowly. 
I'm scared that there is something more than tendinitis going on in my arm and no one can figure it out. 

I feel like I have nothing left in me and I'm just trying to make it. I feel like everyday there is never enough time to get anything done. I feel like my head is currently in explosion mode. 

At the age of 18, I don't feel like I should be feeling like that. This isn't healthy anymore but I don't know how to stop. 

I know I need a break but my endurance isn't letting me do it. 

I'm driving myself insane at this point and I know it's not good. I put so much effort in trying to make sure that someone else was happy and supported and now I'm alone and I'm exhausted and without him. 

I need a lot of prayer tonight. Pray that someone can find out what's wrong with my arm, pray that I can sleep, pray that things can go better for me from here on out. 

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